To Bear That Weight
by chiriruoni
Summary: She had a future we never knew, drawn into a past eerily familiar. The weight she carries is heavy, a burden she wouldn't wish on anyone. Now she is given a chance at preventing tragedy, with her very presence bringing about a mercy that makes her heart soar as well as ache. "I hope you have a wonderful life in the world you belong, Saito..."


**A/N: Well, left my old job finally and taking a few days sabbatical to get my head back in it's right place and body rested. I mostly did this one to get out some of the lingering depression, but ended up liking it a lot. So I might just continue it.**

* * *

"Damn it, damn it, damn it!" She muttered to herself as she trudged through the blasted killing field.

The bodies of human and elf littered the earth, their blood stained the desert sands an even deeper shade of red. Long ago a scene such as this would have broken her, yet now it was as though it were a simple recurring nightmare. A nuisance at best, if only because it hindered her current goal.

"Where...where the hell are you!?" She gripped the hilt of her broken sword, the tattered leathers of its grip dangled from between her fingers.

"Derf...what should I do?"

Her heart ached as she looked to the sword in her hand with silence being the only answer she recieved. Frustration swelled up within her until she let out a strangled cry, flicking the shattered sword as she once would have done with a wand, the magic expelled ending the life of an intrepid elf that had charged at her from her right in a shower of gore.

The human men had long since decided to give her a wide berth, the elves have yet to allow their pride to bring them to do the same.

She scanned the horizon in hopes of finding a single familiar banner. She could see plainly the colors of Gallia and Germania. Higher in the distance she could see the ships of the treacherous 'allies' that was comprised of Reconquista navy, the boom and crack of cannons echoing in the distance. She had been able to find the few Romalian banners safely tucked in the back lines scant mintues ago.

The glimpse of the bastard Pope and his overly smug familiar set her nerves on fire. How she wished to have blown them to pieces ages ago. She bit the knuckles of her mailed left hand to fight back her anger. She had yet to find the Tristain banner. It had taken every favor, every debt, and many threats to ensure that they wouldn't be present. That only the presence of the Tristain Void Mage was needed. The bastard Pope had barely conceded to the concessions at the time and she had for the first time in years felt relief.

Yet when word came that a Tristainian banner was seen in the ranks of the main force, she couldn't help but break ranks from the vanguard. She couldn't help but know just who would defy the blessings she ensured for her kinsmen. It wouldn't be her poor broken Queen Henrietta, nor was it her mother. They understood how deep she sacrificed for them.

As she pushed through the slog of corpses and broken war engines, her thoughts spiraled downward. The past years had been nothing but disappointment upon disappointment, failure stacked on failure.

First the death of her familiar come lover on the isles of Albion. Tristain had barely avoided being annexed by the Reconquista by her intervention after the shock had wore off. A scant year had passed before Tabitha succumbed to the machinations of her uncle that neither herself or Kirche had been able to prevent. In the midst of their mutual depression they had found carnal comfort in each other, however shallow it may have been. Only for Kirche to be never be seen again after a series of skirmishes on the newly formed Germanian/Elven front lines as the Elves pushed north passed the Romalian penninsula.

In her depression she found new fellowship with the commoners that comprised her now Queen's elite guard. The friendship and some lingering influence of Kirche led her to discover that some rumors were indeed true. It was for them she argued that Tristain be spared war at her expense. It was also them that she suspected would ignore her pleas to remain in relative safety.

She was jarred from her state of remembrance when she stumbled upon a small clearing in the gore. Simply a single glance was enough to cause her heart to plummet. The torn and shatter banner of the Queen's Musketeers firmly planted in the middle dead women. All she were familiar with to varying degrees. Yet it was the one who in her dieing breaths clutched the flag's pole to chest as she knelt, holding it firming in place even in death.

"You...you foolish woman!" Louise choked out as she stumbled beside the body of who she considered her last true friend in public and in private her last love.

"I told you...in no uncertain terms...stay home..."

She finally felt the weight of exhaustion sap her strength from her body as she wrapped her arms around the chilly body of the amber haired woman and kissed her forehead.

Louise's vision blurred, by her tears or her weariness, she could never have been sure. Her arms felt heavy, and her legs leaden, refusing her will to move. The shattered remains of Derflinger clattered from her hand.

 _'Is this it? I'm so tired...'_

In the back of her mind she acknowledged the sticky wetness that spread throughout her light set of armor she donned. Certainly not all of it was from the sea of carnage she had waded thorugh.

 _'How far...how long...have I walked?'_

Her eyelids shared the heavy weight her limbs felt. Louise chuckled lightly.

"I wonder...what would Saito think? You've made it further with me than he ever had...I suppose...we'll find out soon...won't we?"

She could feel herself slowly slip to the side, unable to hold onto the corpse in her arms. As her eyes closed of their own accord, she was faintly aware of the approaching earth.

For the first time in her relatively short life, she had felt...weightless.

* * *

"HA, I knew it! Of course it'd just be an explosion like everything else!"

Louise cringed at her rival's snide remark, the jeers of the other students certainly didn't help matters. It didn't matter in the end, she was too intent on trying to breath in the cloud of smoke and dust, as well as search with desperation she'd deny vehemently for something, anything that would mark this as a success.

A strong breeze from behind pushed the obscuring and offending debris from the air. She wasn't sure if she was annoyed or thankful for Tabitha's swift use of magic. Now she was able to see the extent of her success or failure.

At first, she had only seen the massive crater and her heart seemed to jump up and get caught in her throat.

"Whoa! What is that!?" Some boy screamed from the crowd, she didn't care who it was, but she snapped her face up to see what it was.

Near the center of the crater was a body. Curled up on its side, clad in dirty and battered armor. Its arms and legs were stained deeply red-brown and only Tabitha and Colbert recognized the stench fo death that hung around it.

"Miss Tabitha! Miss Montmorency! Get over here now, whoever or whatever it is is gravely injured! Guiche! Go get the Head Healer now!" The kindly professor commanded as he rushed into the crater, gently rolling the body onto its back.

Kirche had crept up to the edge of the crater in her curiosity.

 _'So the Zero wasn't a complete failure after all?'_ She thought, a mixture of worry and curiosity washed over her.

Louise simply knelt at the edge of the crater, stunned at what she had summoned.

"Miss Valliere, quickly, you must complete the ritual! That'll stablize her for the time being!" Colbert yelled from the center of the crater.

She shook herself from her stupor as she scrambled to her feet and slid into the crater. Tabitha and Montmorency now both kneeling opposite of Colbert, had already begin using what water magic they could use to keep whatever it was alive.

As she neared the body, what she had seen felt oddly familiar. Messy short pale pink hair and deeply tanned skin bleached and darked respectively by prolonged exposure to an unforgiving sun, with a face marred by faint scars midst fresh cuts and stained with both old and fresh blood. It was now obviously a woman despite the armor comprised mostly of chainmail with plate in key locations that obscured her figure. She'd be considered short for her apparent age, only a couple years older than herself and barely more developed.

Yet how did she feel so familiar?

She pushed the thought to the back of her mind for later. For now she had to keep her potential familiar alive, and finishing the contract according to Colbert would be a major step in that direction. Leaning over the woman's face, she swallowed futily with a dry mouth.

"My name is Louise Francoise le Blanc de La Valierre. Pentagon of the five elemental powers; bless this humble being, and make her my familiar...," with a couple short seconds of hesitation, she leaned further in placing a light kiss on the lips of the woman.

Almost immediately, the woman's eyes jolted open, revealing hauntingly familiar burnt pink eyes.

* * *

She awoke to the cool feeling of flowing water across her skin and a curiously painful burning on her left hand. Her eyes shot open at the conflicting sensations, with the sight that greeted her sending her mind realing in confusion.

Had she gone mad on the battlefield? Had she finally completely broke? Or perhaps had she finally succumbed and she was having hallucinations in her final moments before death?

 _'No...this is far too real...'_

She felt the warm, dry earth beneath her. The shocked and worried expression of her former mentor Colbert was what she could see to her left. His hand gripped her shoulder firmly, far too firmly and comforting to be a hallucination. To her right the source of the cool water was found, the blank expression of a long dead friend and the confused frown of another friend that was long distanced by the turmoil of her life. In the distance she found a stunned visage of red that had made her heart skip a moment. All in the span of a few seconds, she found herself confused beyond what she thought possible.

Yet it was when her eyes wandered back to where she should have seen the sky that she encounter what would send her known world spiralling out of control. Absurdly familiar burnt pink eyes, the such she'd only seen in family and in the mirror.

"WAH!?" She bolted upright, unfortunately headbutting the haunting reminder of herself.

The dizzying pain in her head caused her to fall back just as her other self fell sprawled on her back unconscious by the blow. Shaking her head free of the pain, she realized the burning sensation grew stronger on her left hand. Bringing it up to her eyes, the glow contrasted by the blue sky, she realized what had happened.

Something she had speculated in the past but never bothered to pursue thanks to the approaching and ensuing wars. She found an answer to a question she never truly bothered to ask outright.

She began to giggle, her brows furrowed at the absurdity. The giggle turning into a full blown laugh that bordered maniacal.

Those around her unconsciously back away at the outburst, as she continued.

 _'So the Void not only defies space...but time as well...'_

With that thought, her eyes rolled back as she joined her younger 'twin' in the sweet embrace of oblivion.


End file.
